UNITED WE FALL
The modern football manager might wear classic Reeboks, or knackered Converse, or trackie bottoms tucked in socks but, to continue paraphrasing the Arctic Monkeys song, there ain’t no romance in our game no more. Nothing endures. The average managerial tenure tends to last between 18 months and two years. For Ole Gunnar Solskjær at Besiktas, it was a little more than seven months; José Mourinho got 14 at Fenerbahce. And so the pair, intrinsically linked by their sequential spells at Manchester United, find themselves on similar paths again, their sackings from Turkish nearly-clubs coming within hours of each other this week. Both have been caught in the meat grinder of Uefa’s endless European qualifiers. Solskjær’s brave Besiktas boys were downed by Ineos-owned Lausanne in the Tin Pot playoffs on Thursday night. A day earlier, Mourinho’s men were ousted by Benfica in the Bigger Cup equivalent.
It feels rather timely that these two former United bosses should be chucked through the door marked Do One just as the latest man to suffer the Old Trafford meme factory is put to his limits. Ruben Amorim will rue the day he popped into Sports Direct to buy that magnetic tactics board, for it was instantly imbibed into the internet’s collection of looped two-second videos for merciless and eternal social media use. Amorim, the sweet-talking dogmatist whose principled management was the exact reason for his appointment at United, is now being viewed with ridicule and derision, just as Solskjær and Mourinho were before him. It comes for everyone. Solskjær was a club legend who ended his reign by crying on MUTV; Mourinho was the managerial great living miserably in a hotel room after alienating his squad. The scythe’s swing is remorseless.
The United fanbase has always been divided regarding how to view the aforementioned duo. Without question, they occupy the top two in the post-Ferguson cartel of managers, albeit Erik ten Hag and Louis van Gaal won domestic cups where Solskjær won none. But the Norwegian came second, produced fluent football and endeared himself to United supporters. The romanticists loved him, how he paid lip service to the club’s history by playing counterattacking football and refusing to use Sir Alex Ferguson’s old parking space. It is widely agreed that sacking Solskjær in November 2022 was a premature move by United, given they had no idea how to replace him. There are now even some whispers among supporters about bringing him back. You know the drill: an interim spell, 4-2-3-1 and good vibes. Isn’t that what football is about? Oh no, sorry, romance is dead …
Instead United and Amorim plough on together. The dreaded vote of confidence. The rigid formation. Mason Mount at left wing-back. The apologies from Diogo Dalot after another defensive disasterclass. There are rumours Amorim may be considering walking away from it all, shunning a hefty payoff, believing there is a desert island somewhere for him to sit on and fiddle with his laminated tactics tablet forever more. As Solskjær and Mourinho prove, however, the most likely future awaiting Amorim is a bleak spell managing Trabzonspor, eventually getting the bullet in late August 2028 for a meek Big Vase qualifying defeat to Lens. Be warned, Ruben.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
I used this word unintentionally, just to make it very clear. I had no intention, there was no message, there was no hidden agenda. I fully understand it’s my responsibility that I created these headlines. I’m sorry for the upset and for the headlines that I created. I’m experienced enough, I should have known better and should have done better. I thought I have a little bit more credit with you guys, that I do all this in my second language. I did it on the morning after a loss and not a lot of sleep. I did it in a live interview and I used the wrong word. I made straight away contact with him, of course and I got in touch with him straight away. Jude’s focus is now in his rehabilitation” – a contrite Thomas Tuchel explains how and why in June he used the word “repulsive” to describe some of Jude Bellingham’s on-field antics.
So José pointedly said that after Galatasaray, he wanted to manage a club at the bottom of the Premier League, where he wouldn’t have deal with UEFA … Taxi for Potter, anyone? – Declan Hackett.
Amorim on the brink, Mourinho sacked. We can all see how this pans out, but I bet David Squires is properly happy” – Kev, Uffculme.
My mate in Newcastle congratulated my team on knocking ‘the vile Mackems’ out of the Carabao Cup (but we were a mere two divisions below them so it won’t have registered with you guys and it is likely to be a league game next season anyway) and then went on to comment on his team losing at home to Liverpool. ‘Always disliked them, but it’s now visceral with all this Judas Isakariot business. T-shirts with his picture on are on sale outside the ground with a free box of matches” – Richard Askham.
As the transfer window draws to a close, Zian Flemming’s permanent switch to Burnley for a reported £7m fee may not have caused the same headlines as Gyökeres or Eze, but let me tell you that Zian is worth his weight in gold! Quite literally, with Flemming reportedly weighing in at 84kg and gold prices hovering around $3,466 per Troy ounce, he would be worth £7m in gold. To use the old football idiom and question whether he is worth his weight in goals however is quite another matter … “ – Sam from London.
Fulham suit on the phone with Shakhtar suit: “We need to talk about Kevin” – Lean Ka-Min.
JJ Zucal – deservedly – won Thursday’s letter o’ the day. But Tom Dowler deserves a special award for actually making me laugh out loud while reading Football Daily – Mark Waters.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Richard Askham. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.
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