Vladimir Putin loves bombing Ukraine and taking his shirt off – not necessarily in that order. The Russian leader is well known for his macho photoshoots, including that infamous shot of him horse-riding bare-chested in Siberia. While various politicians have mocked Putin for his posing, others have been taking notes. And by others I mean Robert F Kennedy Jr, who has spent a large portion of his time in politics spamming social media with increasingly weird footage of him working out.
In 2023, when Kennedy ran for president, he posted a video of himself doing shirtless push-ups in an empty car park as preparation for his debate with Joe Biden – bizarrely, he was wearing blue jeans for the stunt. Now that Kennedy is the US health secretary, the videos are coming at a faster clip.
In August, he was filmed doing a workout with the secretary of defence, Pete Hegseth, which they called “the Pete and Bobby challenge”. Kennedy kept his shirt on for that one, but the jeans were back. A couple of months later, this time in a suit, Kennedy did a pull-up competition in Reagan National airport with the US transport secretary. This was in service of a new initiative to turn airports into wellness spaces. This sounds lovely, but there are rather more pressing things to focus on. Like making sure airport workers, many of whom are missing a paycheck because of the current partial government shutdown, can pay their bills.
In February, Kennedy teamed up with the Maga singer Kid Rock for a 90-second video which featured, inter alia, the pair working out in a sauna. Kennedy (in the no-shirt and blue jeans combo) was pedalling furiously on an exercise bike while Kid Rock (swimming trunks) was doing push-ups. Again, this was in a sauna. Kennedy has already had a parasite in his brain; is he looking for some sort of fungal infection, too? Later in the video, Kennedy gets in a cold plunge with his jeans on before he and Kid Rock drink whole (and presumably raw) milk in a hot tub.
Then, on Sunday, Kennedy posted an AI video in which, shirtless and wearing office shoes, he wrestles a Twinkie. Yeah, I know, I did a double-take as well when I first saw the headline. A Twinkie, for the benefit of readers not well versed in American highly processed food, is a phallic-looking cake filled with cream. The Twinkie may be a unique touch, but Kennedy is hardly unusual in posting AI slop: the Trump administration is memeing its way through the Iran war and is obsessed with AI slopaganda.
Anyway, I think we’ve all got the message by now: Kennedy has abs. He is a 72-year-old nepo baby with weird views on modern medicine and a muscly chest. Congratulations! Maybe one day Fifa can give him a prize like his boss, Donald Trump. But for now perhaps he could stop with the videos and maybe start focusing on the fact that measles cases are soaring in the US?
This is partly because of increased vaccine scepticism, which Kennedy has helped stoke. One paediatrician I know told me doctors now spend so much time talking to vaccine-hesitant parents that US insurance companies have just brought in new billing codes to ensure they get paid for that time. (This may be hard for British readers to understand, but US insurance companies ensure every single minute with your healthcare provider can be monetised.)
Or maybe, if curbing measles is too much to ask, Kennedy could do something about making healthy food in the US cheaper, as part of his “eat real food” initiative. So far, all he seems to have done on that front is advise people not to buy steak. At a recent Maha (make America healthy again) conference, Kennedy noted helpfully that while porterhouse is pricey: “You can buy liver or the cheaper cuts of steak that are very, very affordable.”
Talk about the enshittification of everything. We can’t even have bread and circuses to keep us placated any more. Instead, we get liver and Twinkie wrestling.
Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columist
