STOP! HAMMER-ING TIME?
There was a moment on Match of the Day (midweek Bigger Cup version) when presenter Mark Chapman observed that the five English teams in the competition had won by an aggregate score of 19-2 and enquired of his studio pundits if this was indicative of the financial heft of the Greatest League In The World™. Not a man widely renowned for his vast repertoire of zingers, the former Liverpool full-back Stephen Warnock was quick to point out that if had not been for the outstanding performance of Guglielmo Vicario in the Tottenham goal away at Monaco, the aggregate score in matches featuring teams from the English top flight would have been closer to 19-19. In an ideal world, Warnock would have unclipped his microphone, dropped it on the pristine studio floor, walked out of Salford’s Media City and taken his one-gag, one-man show on a nationwide tour. However, being a consummate professional he elected to remain in the company of Chappers, Andy Cole and Guillem Balagué to watch the goals from a series of shellackings that took place in Uefa’s blue riband club competition in gameweek three.
While only time will tell if it happened to be an anomalous week or the preponderance of high, one-sided scorelines (eg 6-1, 4-0, 2-7, 6-2, 0-4, 4-0, 5-1, 1-5) are indicative of something a little more sinister, the fact remains that notwithstanding the 0-0 hiding Monaco dished out to Tottenham, eight different teams out of the 36 contesting this season’s Bigger Cup won by at least four goals. With 71 scored across 18 games, the current Bigger Cup gameweek was the highest ever in the competition, although it behoves us to remind readers that the current format boasts two more matches per week than in its previous incarnation. For those pointing the Big Finger Of Blame at a disparity of quality between Traditional European Heavyweights and Minnows, it’s worth noting that of all the drubbings dished out this week, none came at the expense of your Qarabags, Kairat Almatys, Pafosas or Bodø/Glimts. On the contrary, it was the likes of Bigger Cup regulars such as Lazio, Bayer Leverkusen, Atlético Madrid and Ajax who got caned. Unable to play in their own stadium because it’s too ramshackle, Union Saint-Gilloise were the most minnowy side to ship a hiding – a 4-0 reverse against Inter – but they’re the Belgian champions and part-owned by Tony Bloom, a shrewdie who is as far from being a feckless football club-owning spiv as it is possible to be.
No, the more Football Daily thinks about it, the more we’re of a mind that this week’s results were a full-on statistical riot orchestrated by the cosmos, than any real sign of an increasingly wide gulf in class between the haves and the have-not-so-muches. Of course it may also be an indication that teams have cottoned on to the fact that in this new format, goal difference will be an increasingly important consideration when it comes to making it through to the knockout stages. Almost inevitably, they are trying to score as many goals as possible when in a position of dominance, rather than closing out a 2-0 lead by running down the clock and saving their legs for the weekend.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“After my meeting everyone was happy” – Virgil van Dijk believes the team meeting – definitely not a crisis meeting – he called on Monday in the wake of Liverpool’s defeat to Manchester United has cheered everyone at Anfield right up.
All this talk of Big Ange’s defenestration (yesterday’s Football Daily full email edition), followed in the next paragraph by Lucia Kendall’s surreal Lionesses experience made me think of erstwhile NWOTNW (ask your dad, kids) tyros S*M*A*S*H and their pop hit “Real Surreal”. It would be nice to think Ange was humming “A table’s not a table it’s a chair, you said, so I’m not sacked, I’m still a red” – David Bell.
Can Guardian Towers enlighten me as to why former players and managers are so churlish about calling for a manager to be fired? Is it that horrific to then fall into the Bayern/Rangers/Sweden/Forest/West Ham/Leverkusen/Besiktas (that one’s niche) job among many many others? Or is it truly that bad to be on gardening leave and having to appear on the Overlap while they wait for their next pay day a la Moyes, Solskjær and Dyche? After hearing the usual lot tiptoe around Amorim’s job security before he gave himself a weeks grace with the Liverpool result I just want to shout at the TV: ‘Relax, he’ll be fine!’” – Jake Shepherd.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … David Bell. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
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