HERE. WE. GO
Will Liverpool canter to another title? Have Manchester City rediscovered their mojo? Have Arsenal finally found the missing pieces of the jigsaw? Will Chelsea’s midsummer Copa Gianni endeavours catch up with them? Can any or all of the three promoted sides make a decent fist of not going straight back down this time? Will Fulham finish 11th or 12th? How adverse an effect will being the father of twins going through the terrible twos have on the form of Jarrod Bowen? Some early clues to the answers of these and many other questions will be provided this weekend as the latest beautifully packaged model of the Premier League rolls off the assembly line, kicking off with tonight’s ding-dong between Liverpool and what’s left of a Bournemouth carcass that has been feasted upon by a wake of vultures during the transfer window. A club so resilient and resourceful that at one point they exhibited the massed ranks of their lame and halt David Blaine-style in a perspex box at the Vitality Stadium, Andoni Iraola’s side will almost certainly be just fine.
Hopes are high that we might have a title race on our hands and in Viktor Gyökeres, Arsenal have finally got that big No 9 their fans have craved for so long. With decent cover in every position and another graduate from the Emirates creche, Max Dowman [born December 2009 – Football Daily Ed] ready to take his first tentative steps into the top-flight cauldron, there are high hopes this season might finally be the mythical “next season” we’ve been assured has been coming for the past four years. Of course, it’s all fun and games until somebody loses one or more key players to the random vagaries of mid- to long-term knack, gah and ouch as Arsenal, Manchester City and various other clubs discovered in the last campaign, while others – including the reigning champions – remained comparatively unscathed.
Beyond the obvious title contenders there are currently countless imponderables. Are Everton good again? Has the cloud over Old Trafford reached peak mushroom? What now for Alexander Isak? Will the Thomas Frank factor work at Spurs? In deciding to stick with Daniel Farke, Leeds are adjudged to have taken something of a gamble on an apparently decent coach whose previous Premier League forays have been a study in dignified mournfulness. Farke may well be the first top-flight manager to lose his job unless somebody tonks Burnley first and Scott Parker goes full Scott Parker. While their north-eastern neighbours try to prepare for the new season in the face of an unseemly, very public and ongoing one-man mutiny, Sunderland have quietly gone about the business of unveiling 11 (and counting) on-the-face-of-it astute new signings. That suggests they might finally have put that Netflix banter era behind them, but given the club’s history of slapstick, only time will tell. With this season’s relegation places looking nowhere near as nailed-on as last year, the scramble to avoid them could go right down to the wire. Or at the very least, early April.
In, among, and around the football we’ll have all the usual controversies, gripes and grumbles about on-field and in-bunker officialdom, a body of men and women whose already difficult job is being made increasingly tough by forensic scrutiny, the rise of Ref Cam, occasionally inexplicable ineptitude and an increasingly unfathomable handball law that seems tailored specifically to infuriate, baffle and enrage. Oh yes, the Premier League is back and to paraphrase the late American comedian Bill Hicks, bear with it while managers, players and broadcasters everywhere plaster on a fake smile and plough through this sh!t one more time.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
The Premier League is back, baby. Join Scott Murray for big-match buildup and live updates from Liverpool 0-0 Bournemouth (8pm BST kick-off).
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
This season you want to make sure that you don’t lose those stupid points. There were a few games where we analysed them back and said to ourselves: ‘This can’t happen’” – Youri Tielemans gets his chat on with Ben Fisher, and reveals how Aston Villa have done the research and will be higher up the table if they cut down on daft mistakes.
Harking back to recent discussions about nominative determinism, is Régis Le Bris predestined to wind up at Bristol City*, take them to the promised land of the Premier League, and be declared King of Bristol?” – Phil Taverner (*other Bristol-based clubs also apparently available).
May I be one of the 1,057 pedants who point out the definitely-not-workshy Wayne Rooney is [almost] right in saying the NFL season only lasts three months. Each team plays just 17 matches during the 18 weekends of the regular season. That’s just nine days into month four. The playoffs, leading to the Super Bowl, take place during the post-season” – Geraint.
Peter MacLeod (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) may have started something with his ‘keeper moniker sweep. Although pedantry isn’t (necessarily) involved, may I be the first of 1,057 to supplement with ‘handyman’?” – Clinton Macsherry.
In India the goalkeeper is often referred to in the media as ‘The Guardian of the Citadel’” – Ross Dunning.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Phil Taverner. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.
RECOMMENDED BOOKING
On Thursday 11 September, join Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning and Football Weekly favourites Jonathan Wilson, Nicky Bandini and Jonathan Liew for an evening of unfiltered football punditry at Troxy in London. The pod will also be livestreamed globally. Book now.
QUESTION TIME
Our Matchday live blogs will be running across the weekend. Our London-based reporter Ed Aarons will be answering questions on Saturday before the Spurs v Burnley match. If you have a question to ask him about any of the other Premier League clubs in London, email him at Matchday.live@theguardian.com. On Sunday, Jamie Jackson is at Old Trafford for Manchester United v Arsenal. He’ll be on hand at around lunchtime for a Q&A on the Manchester clubs. Get your questions to him now.
