Wiegman’s Eleven
Given the number of rakes they’d trodden on, Sideshow Bob-style, without sustaining a fatal handle blow to the face, Football Daily fully expected Sunday’s final against Spain to be the match in which an almost supernatural reservoir of good fortune enjoyed by the Lionesses at Euro 2025 finally dried up. Pummelled in their opener against France before stumbling and lurching through the knockout rounds like the world’s most tea-timely football email pinballing its way home off a series of lampposts and trees after a lock-in down our local drinker, England surely couldn’t pull off another smash-and-grab against a team of world champions who can play football to such an ethereal level it often resembles a completely different sport. And while it looked like our prophecy would come to pass after Mariona Caldentey had put the red-hot favourites in front with a bullet header before the break, it was Spain who got the Basel brush-off and Leah Williamson who hoisted the trophy skywards after spot-kicks to prompt a post-match team pogo that reverberated around England before continuing, accompanied by celebratory champagne, cake and karaoke, long into the Swiss night.
In her post-match interview, Lucy Bronze revealed she had played the entire tournament with a broken tibia, a knack you could be forgiven for thinking might have ruled lesser mortals out of the competition, but in this particular instance wasn’t sufficiently serious to preclude the right-back from participating in all six matches before being forced off in extra-time by some comparatively minor knee-ouch. “I think that’s why I got a lot of praise from the girls after the Sweden game – because I’ve been through a lot of pain,” she roared. “But that’s what it takes to play for England and that’s what I’ll do.” Meanwhile, Chloe ‘Clutch’ Kelly, whose career looked to have hit the skids as recently as January, took pleasure in recounting her own redemption tale after six highly-restorative months. “If that’s a story to tell, [for] someone that maybe experiences something the same: tough times don’t last,” she cheered. “Just around the corner was a [Big Cup] final, won that. Then a Euros final, won that. Thank you to everyone that wrote me off, I’m grateful.”
For England fans who had already endured several trips through the wringer, the tough times lasted right until the point Kelly fired her decisive spot-kick past Spain’s goalkeeper in a shootout that briefly threatened to eclipse the extraordinary levels of slapstick that prevailed in England’s quarter-final against Sweden. For Sarina Wiegman, however, the outcome was never in doub … well, a little in doubt. “I always think this is the most chaotic and ridiculous tournament we have played,” declared the woman who has now masterminded victory in back-to-back-to-back Euros with the Netherlands and England. “I actually can’t believe it myself. How can this happen? But it happened. I’m so incredibly proud of the team and the staff. We’re just going to party tonight!”
And party they did, with the TV cameras on hand to capture the obligatory and increasingly common footage of beatifically bleary-eyed Lionesses boarding the coach outside a team hotel whose corridors were still echoing with the sounds of Ella Toone’s stirring early-hours rendition of River Deep, Mountain High. After flying home for an official welcome at 10 Downing Street, England’s pride of Lionesses will parade along the Mall on an open-top bus on Tuesday lunchtime, when tens and possibly hundreds of thousands of well-wishers are expected to line the famous London boulevard and pay homage to their heroines. The road to Buckingham Palace is one Kelly and Hannah Hampton are expected to make again in January, after it was revealed they could be awarded MBEs in the new year honours list for their services to being “proper England”.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’m in shock. I must apologise for missing my penalty and congratulate England. But we played well. We were the better side, although that’s not everything, you have to put it in the net. I’m devastated. The same thing happened to us in [Big Cup] with my club Barça. We were the better team. England weren’t getting [forward]but no one is to blame: we win and lose together. It feels so cruel. I think we’re the ones who have done the best [in the tournament]who have played the best, and who have the most talent” – a rueful Aitana Bonmatí, player of the tournament, after Spain missed out on the bigger prize.
Why oh why do we allow drummers to bash away BANG BANG BANG BANG during football matches? Mindless metronomic drumming in the stands is relentless, intrusive, distracting, and just plain boring. Why would any genuine fan torture the rest of us like this? Also what about drumming’s potentially harmful impact on those other drums in the vicinity, ie in the ears of fans seated close by? Let’s drum the drummers out of our football stadiums (don’t get me going on the trumpeters)” – Mick Beeby.
As one of the last of the few remaining born and bred Caulkheads, I can assure Tim Scanlan (Friday’s Football Daily letters) that we Isle of Wight natives delight in referring to mainland Britain as the North Island” – Jonathan Banks.
Yes, it would appear New Zealand has solved the problem of where the north-south dividing line is (Friday’s letters). But not all is as it seems. The Māori word for south is ‘runga’. That word also means ‘above’. So … in pre-European times, the Māori going from the bottom of the present-day South Island to the top of the present-day North Island would, in fact, be heading south. Yes, that makes my brain hurt too” – Ron Thompson.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Ron Thompson. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.
