KELLY’S HEROES
English commentators have, historically, been a reserved bunch. The finest from these shores – from Kenneth Wolstenholme to Barry Davies, Brian Moore to Martin Tyler – all typically showed a rather comforting self-supervision to the game as increasingly excitable co-commentators swirled around them, an internal belt that stopped the trousers from falling down even in the most dramatic of moments. Perhaps even especially in the most dramatic of moments. “You have to say that’s magnificent,” is probably not what the Argentinian commentators were bellowing when Diego Maradona rounded Peter Shilton in 1986 after his solo run, but Davies’ commentary was still inimitably perfect.
Sometimes, though, there comes a moment where the mask slips, where the sheer timing and audacity of the action demands something else, and the involuntary oscillations cracking the voice of ITV commentator Seb Hutchinson as he screamed Michelle Agyemang’s name late on Tuesday night, way past Football Daily’s bedtime once more, just as the striker lashed a 96th-minute equaliser into the Italian net to save England’s Euro 2025 skin yet again, was absolutely glorious.
It is becoming increasingly apparent that Agyemang is a bit special, having also come off the bench to score a late leveller against Sweden in the quarter-final. The teenager’s all-round performance against Italy was sensational: up until her second-half introduction, the Lionesses had shown all the composure of a chief suit at a Coldplay gig in front of goal. But Agyemang took her chance, willingly ran the channels, held the ball up, won her duels, pressed relentlessly and, having bagged the equaliser, nearly scored England’s winner and one of the goals of the tournament in extra time, looping the daintiest of lobs over Italy keeper Laura Giuliani, only to see her shot kiss the bar and bounce away. Instead, it was Chloe Kelly who scored England’s second, tucking home a rebound in extra-time after a botched penalty, but the winger was in no doubt as to who to credit after the Lionesses’ 2-1 victory. “Big Mich at it again!” roared Kelly. “She’s an unbelievable player and she’s got the world at her feet, a young player with a bright future and I’m absolutely buzzing for her. But this team shows resilience again and we fight back.”
Agyemang, who was a ballgirl at Wembley as recently as 2021 and only made her England debut in April (scoring a stunning volley just 41 seconds after coming off the bench), cheered: “It means the world to me. I’m so grateful. Four years ago I was a kid just throwing a ball to some of these girls and now I’m playing with them. It’s a great opportunity and I’m so happy I am here.” So are we, Michelle. By the point Hutchinson stopped yelping Agyemaaaaaaaaang, Football Daily was already off on the first of a few laps around the living room, unsure where to turn, who to hug, what to say. Thank goodness that, in Hutchinson, we had someone else to say it for us. Football, bloody hell.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“He just congratulated me on my goal. Coming from a legend like him, I’ll take it. Obviously, it’s another dream come true, playing in the [Bigger Cup] qualifier for this club. I found out I was starting on Monday morning when the manager named the team. I texted my mum and dad, told them and they started crying. It was a good family moment. My mum and dad were both at the game, so were my girlfriend, her parents, my brother and sister and all my pals were there …They waited after the game and I saw them. I could see my mum crying in the stands. It was a good moment” – Rangers tyro Findlay Curtis on getting the Alex Ferguson seal of approval, having lashed home his first goal for the club during the 2-0 first-leg win over Panathinaikos in front of his family at Ibrox.
Thank you for the Kasi Flava link (yesterday’s Football Daily). It brings back memories of a Sunday pub team I played for. Our skill set was not at that level, but our ability to go to sleep standing up and fall over unimpeded was unparalleled” – Steve Robjant.
The sides for our weekend pick-up games at university in Dundee in the mid-60s often aligned deliberately along north-south lines (Football Daily letters passim). Given the number of Scots available there was a bias in the north team. Being Cumbrian-born and raised I usually squeezed into the northern line-up. Then for one game, Mel, from Blackburn, found himself playing for the south. He was not pleased” – Maurice Mandale.
All the ‘where does the north begin?’ correspondents are showing the same fundamental misunderstanding of the concept. ‘North’ is not an absolute expression. Like Einstein’s theoretical astronaut, vainly trying to accelerate to the speed of light, we experience northness as a relativistic term. In global terms, the whole UK is north. More locally, we jumble phrases like South Kensington, which I believe lies in north London. Why, there’s even a North Parade in Penzance and a South Road where the A99 thunders through Wick, some 800 miles further, er, up the page. Northness is a state of mind we take with us, or avoid at all costs, influenced but not defined by our immediate environment. But unlike Alfred’s relativistic traveller, this discussion has been a journey from which we’ve all returned many, many, years older and no further forward” – Ken Muir.
£300,000 might seem a lot to pay for the shirt of a losing goalkeeper (Peter Shilton: yesterday’s Football Daily, full email edition) but if you think of it in terms of pounds per kilo, it’s probably a good deal. I’m assuming the shirt was made from 100kg of some kind of rare, dense metal: how else can you explain Peter Shilton, 6ft professional keeper, being unable to outjump the 5ft 5in Diego Maradona?” – Derek McGee [or those penalties in 1990 – Football Daily Ed].
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Ken Muir. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.
